but my ego is a high school bomb threat,
fiction.
i just wanna stay at home
and stand around with dereliction.
criminal negligence,
little angel with two parents
but he hasn’t learned shit,
a world-weary tradition.
i’m not gonna blow it up.
i just wanted to sleep
and have dreams about
bare-skinned girls
soaring over my house,
i get scooped up, they show me
heaven, unadorned beauty in their curves.
they start taking off my clothes,
my drive goes wild.
but then i ascend
and their kindness
ends.
i’m the onliest
watching porn again.
the night she cleared out,
i was catching my breath,
charging that sweet bitch
with my ego death.
i’m self-conscious and my hunger’s low
but i’ll eat six cheeseburgers with root beer floats
and a fistful of transparent rejection!
EGO DEATH!
it’s pulling in
our driveway,
shit.
meal plans,
food stamps,
bittersweet starvation cramps.
parking tickets,
hissy fits
and non-moving violation champs.
paycheck,
microscopic,
misspend it on weird
philanthropic
endeavors to involuntarily nourish
the fiends,
the illness,
the chronic,
the demonic,
the vile,
the smother,
the mundane seldom lover
who makes you bend over backwards,
leaving no stone unturned
for a chance at some glassy-eyed articulation of
romance!